inordertobelieve

... I apologize.

[ Teru looks up at Light, expression incredibly sheepy, but for once he does not offer silence. He wants to cherish this night of his first divine punishments, a small selfish wish for a ritual that makes him giddy. ]

Don't. You can be as loud as you please now.

[Light gets up, gathers his belongings and tucks them neatly under his arm.]

Just turn off that computer when you're done and knock on my door, alright?

Of course.

[ Teru nods and then loses himself in his work again before Light even fully has left the room.

Delete, delete, delete...

It's nice and rhythmic, easy to get into and keep up pace. Repetition, repetition... Teru has always liked doing math homework because it made him fall into a similar pattern, but this is ten times as satisfying.

When he finally finishes, he doesn't know how much time it took him exactly, because it felt long and short at once. For a moment he leans back, closing his eyes and feeling the satisfaction, then he does as Light said and turns off the computer.

He stretches a little, then walks to Light's door and knocks. ]

[As Teru predicted, when Light is actually concentrating on the assigned reading, it doesn't take him too long to complete. By the time he's done, it's approximately 9:30 - later than the time Light has usually completed all his daily tasks. That much is to be expected with the addition of some tedious school work in addition to having spent part of the afternoon wandering outside with his boyfriend, but he can't help sighing.

As it appears as though Teru isn't finished yet, Light heads to the bathroom to wash up for the evening. It feels strange somehow to need to structure his life around something as ordinary as school again, though the change isn't unpleasant either. He emerges from the bathroom just as Teru begins knocking.]

You seem radiant.

[He comments with yet another half smile.]

[ Ah. Teru hadn't even noticed that Light went to another room, so he turns to face Light rather confusedly before his expression softens again. ]

... it's because you shared your glory with me.

[ It's obvious the compliment flustered him, however. ]

...

[Light ought to be used to hearing this kind of thing from Teru by now, but it still throws him off for a beat before he laughs softly.]

You were radiant long before today, you know. To me, anyway.

[Brushing Teru's arm, the laughter dies down but the affectionate glint in his eyes remains.]

Sleep with me tonight?

Edited 2017-06-26 01:28 (UTC)

[ The only thing Teru has ever found radiant about himself was his name, Light is the one who fits that term much better. He's a good person, but a shining one...? If that's how he appears to Light, he is more than satisfied. ]

I'd love to. ... I'll get changed and come over then.

[Light makes a contented 'mm' noise. Not that he was expecting Teru to answer differently, but the enthusiasm is pleasing to hear nonetheless.]

Take your time. I still have a few small things to take care of.

[Evening medication, putting murder weapons away. Standard every day actions.]

You can make yourself comfortable if you're done first.

[ Teru's evening routine has been the same as long as he can remember and it's so ingrained into him that he can turn his thoughts off entirely. Movement, movement, movement. He turns himself on autopilot way before he actually sleeps and as such almost forgets to wake up again before he accidentally can make his way into his own room. But of course he remembers God before then.

Light's still making noise in the kitchen when Teru steals into his bedroom and positions himself on the side of the bed, comfortably covered by the blanket. ]

[Of all the evening routines he has to do, swallowing his anti-epileptic is the one that invariably causes Light's mood to dip a little before bed. It's been months now, but he swears he can feel the stupid thing stick in his throat before going down psychosomatically. After spending so much time insisting there's nothing wrong with him to himself, it's vaguely sickening to have to confront very tangible proof that there is. Every day, first thing in the morning, last thing before bed.

Today he tries not to dwell on it by emptying his thoughts. As a result the glass he'd been drinking out of ends up cleaned to excess. He picks the death note off the table and makes his way back to his room a few moments after Teru does. Seeing his boyfriend already there, he half smiles and slides the note into his desk drawer before climbing in bed.

Light pauses briefly when he's positioned just over Teru and presses his forehead against his boyfriend's.]

Hi.

[ Smiles never come as naturally as they do when they're together in complete privacy. When Teru breathes the same tooth-pasty air as Light who's only centimeters away from his face... how could he not turn the corners of his lips upwards and gently lock eyes? ]

Am I my God's pillow tonight?

[ He's only recently started making jokes of this kind (except it's not jokes, really not, he's serious about all of it) and it still feels a little awkward on his tongue. Awkward but good. They're more familiar and closer than they could ever be if they were only God and servant or only lovers. ]

Eh?

[Light blinks at the comment, still not entirely certain of how to react to this just yet. On the one hand, it's so cringeworthy he judges himself for even feeling positively about it, but on the other hand, hearing things stated so openly while making eye contact is incredibly intense. He misses a beat and laughs sheepishly.]

I wasn't thinking of it that way. I just like being close to you.

.... I know that.

[ But it's nice to say God and it's nice to say God so intimately in ways nobody else will ever be able to. A few months ago he'd have judged himself intensely for this thought, but now the embarrassment is only a small nagging at the back of his mind.

He brushes Light's cheek with his hand. ]

I do too.

[As Teru's fingers gently touch his face, Light is lulled into briefly closing his eyes and breathing out contentedly. It doesn't feel necessary to say anything in particular at this moment, so he savors it in silence for a few seconds.]

To be honest, I thought going back to school was going to be awful.

[He opens his eyes.]

It wasn't though. So...thanks for that.

There's no need to thank me. If anything, it should be the other way around after what you let me do today.

[ He still feels energized from the knowledge that he just actively made the world yet a little safer, one penstroke at a time. ]

Oh?

[Light rolls to the side and joins Teru under the blankets.]

Now that I should definitely be thanking you for since you're taking a load off my shoulders.

[A beat, and a half smile.] I have to admit. Watching you was a little mesmerizing.

Is that so? I didn't think you'd feel that way about something you yourself do so commonly.

[ Teru immediately shifts closer and wraps his arm around Light's upper body. ]

Of course, I've always been mesmerized when you do it, but I'm not the one who started this plan, so it's only natural it impresses me...

Well...

[In return, Light drapes his arm over Teru's hip, and affectionately brushes his thumb over the small of his back.]

Think of it this way. It's refreshing to watch you act because it isn't routine to you.

... well, soon it will be.

[ And that's not a bad thing. There is nothing more beautiful than routine, things that wait for you every day, securely, steadily orderly, always there... ]

I doubt it will stop being exciting though.

Really, now....

[Light moves a pinch closer to rest his head on Teru's chest.]

I thought by now the last thing you'd want is excitement.

This is something else...

[ Without even thinking about it, Teru raises his hand to brush over Light's hair gently. ]

Actually impacting the world... that's nothing to shrug off and become indifferent to. I've been excited every time I read news about Kira as well, but acting as Kira.. with you... Even in elementary school I would not have been able to dream up something as incredible.

Mm. [The words are murmured into Teru's shirt.]

Indifferent is the wrong word for it. Someone who would become indifferent to acting as Kira should never be trusted with that power in the first place.

[He signs, as he idly runs his fingers up and down his boyfriend's back.]

Writing in that note requires active conscientiousness. A heart that's overflowing with compassion for the future of human society. That much can never be allowed to erode.

[Peering up, he leaves a kiss on Teru's collarbone.]

Mhm... that's why it's you after all.

[ Nobody else could be Kira and lead humanity towards a better future. Nobody else but Light who could see the same visions as him and shared them with him on the roof that day....

Back when Teru couldn't have imagined how happy he was capable of being.

In return for the collarbone kiss, he kisses Light's forehead, the only part easily available to him in this position. ]

And you.

[Shifting a little so that they can make eye contact from an equal plane, Light adopts a slightly more solemn tone.]

After all, you and i.... we've felt the same way for a long time.

Longer than we've even known each other....

[ ... so maybe it's not a big surprise that we met.
It's not fate, not something that was prewritten... rather it's something they have earned through their respective feelings. By working hard all this time, they have earned coming this far, becoming Gods. ]

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