inordertobelieve

This is something else...

[ Without even thinking about it, Teru raises his hand to brush over Light's hair gently. ]

Actually impacting the world... that's nothing to shrug off and become indifferent to. I've been excited every time I read news about Kira as well, but acting as Kira.. with you... Even in elementary school I would not have been able to dream up something as incredible.

Mm. [The words are murmured into Teru's shirt.]

Indifferent is the wrong word for it. Someone who would become indifferent to acting as Kira should never be trusted with that power in the first place.

[He signs, as he idly runs his fingers up and down his boyfriend's back.]

Writing in that note requires active conscientiousness. A heart that's overflowing with compassion for the future of human society. That much can never be allowed to erode.

[Peering up, he leaves a kiss on Teru's collarbone.]

Mhm... that's why it's you after all.

[ Nobody else could be Kira and lead humanity towards a better future. Nobody else but Light who could see the same visions as him and shared them with him on the roof that day....

Back when Teru couldn't have imagined how happy he was capable of being.

In return for the collarbone kiss, he kisses Light's forehead, the only part easily available to him in this position. ]

And you.

[Shifting a little so that they can make eye contact from an equal plane, Light adopts a slightly more solemn tone.]

After all, you and i.... we've felt the same way for a long time.

Longer than we've even known each other....

[ ... so maybe it's not a big surprise that we met.
It's not fate, not something that was prewritten... rather it's something they have earned through their respective feelings. By working hard all this time, they have earned coming this far, becoming Gods. ]

True...

[Unable to repress a smile, the corners of his lips move upwards slightly in a vague half smile.]

It's strange to think of how differently things could've gone between us. Imagine if we didn't attend high school together and only met at college for the first time. We would have never been this close, huh...

I wonder about that... I can't imagine a version of me who would not be fascinated by your intellect. Though, in the beginning I was mostly wary of you.

[ Strange to remember.... Light used to be a person he passed in the hall, a name on a test result sheet on the wall, a weird disturbance of daily life. Then he became someone to greet, someone to compare lesson results with... ]

[Light considers this in silent contemplation. It doesn't take long before he drops eye contact and looks away.]

I think.... irrespective of that, I would have been reluctant to speak to you or anyone else after I returned from my leave of absence.

[He sighs audibly, and closes his eyes.]

I guess... putting it that way, I've changed a lot.

It'd be easier for me to speak to you if you weren't always surrounded by a superficial crowd.

The way you're now is in no way less appealing than you were before, not to me.

[ But that is something words always had a hard time conveying. Teru instead plants a soft kiss on Light's lips. It's a bit reminiscent of earlier, more miserable times when this was the only way to reaffirm their bond's validity. ]

[After a moment, Light kisses back, gently brushing Teru's cheek.]

Sorry, I'm not trying to be maudlin about it. It's just...[Complicated and hurtful to think about how things aren't what they were and better repressed and locked away in a vault before bein turned into ash.]

...you really are one of a kind and I love you.

[ Teru knows Light better than to think that it's as easy as just saying that, but if nothing else he knows these words as a willingness to move forward from here as they are now. For Teru it's the best he's ever felt in his life, so the least he can do is make Light feel the same. ]

I feel the same way, of course... I want to express that even more in the future as well.

[That's not such an unusual sentiment to hear from Teru, but the endearing nature of it sticks in Light's mind. It's sweet and reassuring in ways that he knows he shouldn't want or need, but all the same he's... sickeningly grateful to hear it anyway. On some level he almost hates himself for it, but hates how much he's overanalyzing feeling good even more.]

Really now....

[He leans closer, until their lips are almost touching. HIs tone is almost teasing.]

Any more and you might explode.

[ The wording is flippant, but it resonates oddly with Teru, coming from Light, who had been shot by his own father... When he replies, he fails to copy the levity of Light's statement. ]

I'm not that fragile.

[ It would be pathetic to be unable to endure something for the sake of Light who already endured too much after all.

Surely, surely... the limit to how much he can support God has yet to be reached. There's more to discover, more unity to bring to them as the world changes.

And for now, there's kisses. ]

[I don't think you are. Not at all. You, who has been by my side through the worst time of my life and stayed with me, you're wonderful.

The words are smothered in kisses, and though Light feels half-inclined to stop in order to say those things, another louder part of him wants to leave these things unsaid because that's part of what makes their relationship so good. Even without saying that, Teru knows that's how he feels. Without thinking, Light wraps his arm around his boyfriend's shoulder to hold him closer as they kiss.

He tastes like clean mint, and though they've been using the same ordinary toothpaste for months now, even that bit of meaningless synergy between them is oddly satisfying. Though they've both talked about feeling lucky today and have both chastised each other for using such an empty word, it doesn't stop feeling true on some level.

After all, how many people can say they have someone who will be there for them? Someone to hold when they're feeling down? And someone who earnestly makes you want to be a better person for their sake? Light winds his fingers through Teru's hair, not wanting to stop or let go.

Eventually however... he has to and he does so somewhat shamefacedly and with his heart beating a little too loudly when he feels himself beginning to grow aroused.]

...ah.

Edited 2017-06-28 01:26 (UTC)

[ The feeling of Light hardening against him is completely familiar by now. Teru remembers that the first times he felt it unplanned, it was awkward and embarrassing. Both of them had tried to play it cool at that point, but it was clear neither of them really knew how to even approach such familiarity. It had been too close then, involuntary physical reaction had been more than they could really trust each other with.

These days, Teru experiences arousal on either of their parts as completely ordinary. It's nice to feel it, it's nice to know that's the impact they have on one another.

As Light breaks away, Teru has his body tightly intertwined with his boyfriend's, leg wrapped around leg, hands holding on to the back of Light's pyjamas. That too is no longer embarrassing. He doesn't feel any need to move away. ]

... I'm not tired yet.

[ He hadn't been thinking about going further before, but feeling so close now the idea isn't unappealing to round off the day. ]

[There is, technically speaking, no reason to feel embarrassed at all, but in this particular case, Light reserves that for himself if only because this is genuinely not where he planned for things to end up this evening. It takes him a second to relax in Teru's arms and yet another one to look him in the eye. When he does, however, he's more sheepish than uncomfortable.]

Neither, truth be told.

[Repositioning his hand to rest between Teru's shoulder blades, he breathes out.]

Not that this was how I planned on burning some energy...[A beat.] What do you want to do?

[ The question is always a difficult one because it's so hard to formulate a concrete answer to. In the end, what Teru wants to do is what Light enjoys the most. ]

Let me please you if I already caused this.

[ There is no question that this will also arouse himself quite a lot, but first priorities are first priorities. ]

[A shiver shoots down Light's spine. Phrases like this aren't unusual to hear from Teru by now, but in light of everything they touched on today - the awkwardness of their first time together, whether or not they'd even be close today if things were slightly different - it seems almost unbelievable that they could be intertwined and talking openly about intimate acts.

Of course, all those changes happened gradually in small incremental steps that were imperceptible in a macroscopic sense, but taking a moment for reflection before Light presses his lips on Teru's neck, he does have to admit to himself that he never thought he'd see the day that he could be so comfortable wanting someone like this.]

Mm... I won't say no to that.

[Murmuring the words against Teru's skin, he moves his hand down to Teru's hip slowly, suggestively.]

But if you're going to do that, I want it to be good for you too.

[ Hearing Light's voice while simultaneously feeling his warm breath tickle against his skin is wonderfully intimate and Teru breathes a contented sigh. ]

... you say that is if it wasn't going to be good for me anyway.

[ There is nothing that is nicer than hearing Light's pleasure in the end. Teru likes being touched, but ever since Light had confessed his identity, his greatest pleasure had always been pleasing his partner. ]

But we could always go further if you want it more mutual.

[Still spoken softly into warm skin:]

I always want things to be mutual, Teru.

[Drawing back a pinch, he looks at Teru directly with a mischievous glint in his eyes that's rare to see. Carefully he brushes his fingers over the front of his boyfriend's pajama pants and swoops lower between his legs.]

You do have a way of making me want to lie back and appreciate you unfiltered though.

[Moving his hand back up to Teru's hip, he grins into a soft kiss on the lips.]

Edited 2017-06-28 21:07 (UTC)

Our feelings are always mutual, I was talking about mirrored actions.... ah...

[ But the longer Light keeps teasing like this, the more he certainly wants some mutuality in actions too... It's fairly easy to tell by the way he maneuvers their hips a little closer. ]

Let's go all the way then... you can gladly lay back and enjoy a good finish to the day.

Ah...

[Their lower bodies brush, and Light muses while tracing Teru's jaw.[

And here I was thinking that maybe it's you who should lie back considering all the effort you put into today already.

[ That's... an unexpected offer on more than one level and Teru blinks. ]

I did nothing extraordinary, Light.

[ Light's back-to-college celebration is in the end fundamentally about Light's achievements at recovery. ]

It's your celebration so you can decide though...

[ Another hip thrust accentuates this. ]

[The motion of Teru's hip makes him draw in a sharp breath at the contact. Light closes his for a moment,and breathes out slowly.]

Arguably, neither did I.

[The comment is stated in a purely matter of fact tone, no traces of self pity or self deprecation to be heard. Lots of people take going to school for granted in the end. To most it wouldn't be considered a big accomlishment, even if the occasion may have emotional significance. Light nudges Teru onto his back and carefully pins his shoulders back against the mattress.]

But that doesn't mean we can't appreciate things about each other. You were looking forward to today just as much as i was, and you helped me get there.

[Dipping down, Light presses a kiss to his boyfriend's jaw and begins unbuttoning his shirt.]

So let me lavish for a little bit. We can always switch and go by your suggestion in the middle.

[ It is by no means unprecedented for Light to take an active role in bed, yet it's gained an incredible amount of excitement since Teru knows just how much he really worships his boyfriend. And today... after sharing power for the first time... His heart is increasing its rate almost shamefully. ]

.... y-yes, sounds good.

[ He reaches his hands up to Light's hips, gently slipping his fingers a little bit below Light's waistband to caress the skin there. Otherwise, he remains passive, waiting, for once. ]

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