inordertobelieve

M...mh....

[ Teru closes his eyes as Light works his way down the buttons, enjoying having nothing but the mere ghostly feeling of fingers working their way down to indicate Light undressing him. ]

I remember being nervous every time... I just enjoy it now.

[ Those moments of will we won't we uncertainty, the time of undressing... He used to have so many mixed feelings on them, but now he feels more relaxed than he does during most parts of his day.

His hips move upwards against Light's as he wraps his arms tightly around his boyfriends upper body. He'll have to let go soon enough... but for now... ]

[There's a part of Light that wants to point that being held like this and moving hips together isn't "lying back" but being closer to Teru's face allows him to kiss his boyfriend and in the end, that's compelling enough to be distracting.]

That's good.

[He kisses chastely and speaks in whisper soft tones.]

You're the only person I'd want to be this close to.

[And there's another kiss, deeper this time as he moves his hand to rest over Teru's heart. To nobody's surprise, it's beating fast, but all the same it's satisfying to know that all of Teru's involuntary responses, the quicker heart rate, the erection brushing his leg, all of them are his right now. Light can't resist a slight tease, however.]

You're sure you aren't nervous?

... there are more things that make your heart race than that.

[ Teru pauses, looking a little flustered despite his confident reply. Somehow he still feels the need to specify this further. ]

Anticipation, for one.

[ Nervousness includes a fear that things may turn out badly, but Teru has left that fear long in the past. They've made all the mistakes they could make, now they are too united to go wrong in this. ]

[Light laughs a little at that. Although Teru hasn't said anything objectively amusing or insightful, being this way with teru has a way of lifting LIght up to the clouds.]

Right.

[Moving further back so that it's just the tips of their noses touching, he raises an eyebrow.]

And that's why you have me in a death grip when you're supposed to be lying back, huh.

[A comment accentuated with a light brush of Teru's shoulder and an expression that can only be interpeted as Not that I mind at all.]

... ah. I am on my back, at least... and I like holding you.

[ He mumbles, petulant in an unusually child-like way. Regardless, he slowly loosens his grip, brushing his hands carefully over every part of Light's back before finally settling them back on his hips.

Lying back is entirely against routine. He's supposed to be worshiping, not getting spoiled.... but regardless of these instinctive objections, the prospect manages to be thrilling. ]

[Leaving a lingering kiss on his boyfriend's lips, Light closes his eyes for the duration that Teru's hands move down his body. ]

I like being held by you.

[It's a quiet admission as Light sits up slowly and smoothes the opened edges of Teru's shirt down his shoulders. He breathes out and takes just a second to look at his boyfriend lying this way, half undressed. Don't look at me too much is an old sentiment that belongs to a time that no longer applies to their present, but in remembering it, Light only smiles fondly and leaves a trail of soft kisses down Teru's chest. He pauses, just below Teru's navel.]

Good that things work out nicely that way.

Edited 2017-06-30 03:39 (UTC)

[ The kisses half tickling, half enticing and Teru squirms just a little, but not enough for it to count as any kind of resistance. When Light stops, he lays perfectly still again, breathing deeply. ]

We complement each other, after all.

[ His hands, forced to leave Light's hips in the downward movement, now settle on the mattress but not before gently brushing through Light's hair. ]

[A little amused by the squirming, Light pulls the waistband of Teru's pants down slightly and brushes over his bare hip with his tongue.]

Are you the day to my night, then?

[Light teases as he scoots back further to lie flat on his stomach between his boyfriend's legs. Draping one arm over Teru's thigh, Light runs his fingers up and down, never quite touching more sensitive spots.]

[ It's almost strange to let Light lay between his legs like this, even if he himself has been in this position countless times for his boyfriend. Now something about Light being so almost out of reach of his eager hands is off-feeling.

Teru doesn't get too much of a chance to dwell on it though, with one teasing action following the other. ]

Hh...

[ Light's technique is different than his own would be, much more hesitant, slower and softer. Teru likes having to be patient, it feels only fitting for them. ]

... even with your last name, I have a hard time seeing you as night.

Mm..

[Light contemplates this for a moment, mostly out of jest, and props himself up on his elbows to look at his boyfriend's face.]

You're too generous about giving awful jokes serious responses, you know?

[He shakes his head, though his lips are curved upwards in a tiny sheepish smile..]

I always thought this was kind of endearing about you. Even back then.

[And with that, he closes his hand over the tip of his boyfriend's arousal and brushes over it with his thumb.]

Mhm....

[ The direct touch has Teru closing his eyes and exhaling slowly to steady his breath for a reply. ]

How could I not take you seriously when you're my God...?

[ The answer is half joke in itself. Of course Teru has figured out a while down the line that being completely serious about Light's jest has a way of furthering the humorous effect for his boyfriend while not compromising his own personality. He's always found that pleasant. Unlike others, he can make Light laugh by being himself - laugh pleasantly, not maliciously. ]

[The idle stroking comes to a momentary halt as Light struggles to regroup from the comment. He refuses to call this being flustered because that's certainly not what it is - of course not - but the mixture of endearment and serious sincerity at this kind of timing when his face is mere centimeters away from his boyfriend's cock...

It's not the first time these disparate elements have come together like this to create this awful storm of adrenaline and sexual tension, and yet it somehow feels no differently than the first time. Perhaps because Light has never formulated a proper answer to this kind of comment.... perhaps because his boyfriend's concurrent "worship" had made it such that the only response Light could give had been inarticulate moans.

But there's no question about it; Light likes hearing appellations like 'god' from someone who truly matters, and for better or for worse, his face is shielded from Teru's vantage point and the pinch of color that has risen to his cheeks can go without scrutiny or comment.

It's our private bond. It's no wonder, he's never told Teru to stop.]

...ah, is that how it is?

[This isn't much more articulate either, damn it. Light swallows and moves his hand slowly up and down the length of Teru's arousal. Then he removes his hand entirely. The reason for that becomes clear as Light, head still ducked somewhat, puts his hands on Teru's hips and pulls at his boyfriend's pants more insistently to further undress him. The instruction to lift up to facilitate this goes unspoken.]

You've thought of me as God for a long while then. In retrospect I'm even more flattered.

[A joke.. maybe.]

Edited 2017-07-01 03:47 (UTC)

[ Somehow, Light doesn't seem as amused by this as Teru assumed he might be. There is always some part of Light that won't quite take his sincere convictions at eye level and will smile at it instead. Teru doesn't mind anymore, he's stopped minding long ago. For Light to react with notable sentimentality now.... it's unusual but it feels good. His feelings have reached Light.

Teru lifts his hips as prompted, a trivial movement that doesn't feel at all fitting to the thoughts in his head. ]

There's... nothing you need to be flattered about. It's all your own achievement.

[ He sits up a bit as his pants are off, so he can reach out for Light's face once more and stroke it gently. ]

You're amazing.

[Teru raises his hips and Light gently sits back on his knees to tug them all the way down his thighs and calves, until the article of clothing lies abandoned at the foot of his bed. Part of him feels incredibly overdressed at this point, especially considering it's usually his own clothes that are the first to go, but when he looks down at his boyfriend, Light can't resist a smirk in his private pleasure at the change.

Teru shifts though, and Light forgets all about avoiding directly looking at his boyfriend and remembers a split second after
they've locked eyes and his boyfriend's hand is already brushing his cheeks - now even warmer from hearing that sentiment stated so unabashedly.

It's not that he doesn't know these things about himself. Who else would word like "amazing" apply to, if not himself after all? But Light stares at Teru a little too long before managing to find his voice again.]

I could say the same about you.

[He shifts his weight forward, bringing their faces closer. He whispers into Teru's ear:]

We're perfect together.

[ Teru shivers. The idea of skipping a heartbeat is cliched, but Light has proven more often than not that there is truth to it.
His affirmative 'mhm' is barely audible, because in a way he doesn't want to break the spell these simple words of Light have put on him. He's always thought it, of course, that they have earned each other and happiness together.... but when the words come from Light, from God, then they're the ultimate affection and the ultimate validation.

Teru lowers his head to give a lingering kiss to Light's neck. His hands come to rest around Light's back once more, loosely and gently this time. ] ]

[Light breathes out slowly as he angles his head back to give Teru more space. It isn't fair that his skin seems to buzz where his boyfriend's lips are pressed, nor is it fair that his throat has gone dry all over again.

Technically this is all wrong. Technically, it's Teru who ought to be reacting right now and lying still, but for the moment Light is all too easily lulled into quietly enjoying this warmth pooling from his neck down to his spine. He ought to be chastising Teru for breaking their agreement. He ought to be pushing him back down on the bed again. He ought to be...]

...mnn...

[ Light is not discouraging him and that's all the encouragement Teru needs to intensify his kiss with broader lip movements and the occasional flicker of his tongue.

His hands meanwhile slip under Light's shirt, brushing gently over his abdomen. Teru knows what every muscle feels like and he enjoys the familiarity of tracing every part of the body he's touched so often and loves so much.

Before Light, he never thought of the physical as being attractive, but now every part of his boyfriend's physique has become associated with all of his inner values and Teru... ah, he can't help wanting it so much, wanting them to reaffirm their bond like this. It had served them in their time of pain and now that it's over, it's a luxury that's incredibly rewarding. ]

Edited 2017-07-02 02:38 (UTC)

[The heat around his neck intensifies and for all the good that it does, Light presses his legs together a little tighter to try and keep himself from becoming more aroused. Of course, doing so doesn't accomplish that and further betraying the point, as his boyfriend's tongue brushes his neck, Light shivers in a way that feels as though it ought to be tangible, like a fluttering ripple of tension going through his entire body.]

..ahh...

[This would have been deeply embarrassing even a mere six months ago. Before dating Teru, it would have been unfathomable to think he, of all people, could want someone to touch him the way Teru is touching him. He's never liked invasions into his personal space nor has he been interested in physical contact with other people as a general rule, so logically all of this right now ought to be repulsive.

But it fails to be that completely. It ought to be disconcerting that it isn't, but it fails to be that either. In the time they've spent together, enduring together, growing together, the need to filter himself from his boyfriend has faded into nothing. Light has never felt so comfortable or so right sharing everything he has of himself with another person.

And why shouldn't he? While he may not truly believe in cliches like soul mates or red strings of fate, there's a small part of him that's convinced that he will never feel about another person the way he feels about Teru. His heart rate has picked up, and entirely thoughtlessly his hands have moved up to his boyfriend's waist and shoulder as he presses their bodies closer. Teru is broader now, more secure feeling Light's arms than the scrawny boy he was in high school. The change suits him, Light muses dreamily, awash in the feeling of Teru's hands traveling over his torso.]

You're...mm... really keen on distracting me, huh...

[A comment made a little breathlessly, more faintly amused than anything else. Light reaches up to run his fingers through Teru's hair and sweeps it to one side before whispering in his ear again.]

You're incredible.

Edited 2017-07-02 23:51 (UTC)

[ Teru had not been thinking of it as distraction, it is merely that when he can feel the many small but notable ways in which Light is reacting favorably to his attention, he has a hard time stopping himself. Any noise Light lets out may be muted, but the significance is nevertheless not lost on Teru. Light loves what Teru is doing to him and this feels, somehow, like the result of hard work. All those times fumbling around, not knowing what they were doing, clinging to each other in pain... Teru had thought of sex as frivolous for a long time, but now he's reaping fruits of his emotional and physical labor. There may be some worth to that.

And even though he knows he's learned this well, the compliment still sends shivers down his spine. ]

.... ah.

[ He pauses in his movements for a moment, just savoring this feeling, then he grabs the hem of Light's shirt. ]

I still want to feel you more...

[ ...so take this off. ]

[The reprieve gives Light a moment to steady his breath and settle back more squarely on his knees. Slowly, he unwinds his arms from around his boyfriend and draws out the moment with a contemplative look that'might have been more convincing if thee wasn't a mischievous look in his eyes.]

Ah, but that wasn't really the point, was it? But...

[Glancing down at Teru's hands, Light brushes one affectionately with his thumb before pulling his shirt up over his head.]

If you insist.

[Dropping his shirt off haphazardly to the side, not really caring where it ends up, Light leans in to steal a chaste kiss.]

Sooner or later it'd have had to come off....

[ Teru murmurs against Light's lips, wrapping his arms around Light's body again, hands connecting over Light's shoulder-blades. ]

You're making me happiest if I can make you happy as well, you know that.

[ Which is why lying back and just taking whatever Light does to him feels so off. ]

I love being touched by you, but in return...

[ He wants to give something back, to brush his fingers over skin, to press their bodies together so they can feel each others heartbeat... ]

[Light is of split mind in the seconds following Teru's response. Though he puts his arms loosely around Teru's waist, he pulls back a little to get a proper look at his boyfriend's face. ]

You make it sound like it doesn't make me happy to touch you.

[When thinking about all those times he had agonized about what he's doing with his life in becoming intimate with Teru, this ought to be an odd admission to make, but he doesn't feel strange to say something so plainly evident. Light moves his hand up and down Teru's lower back and rests his forehead on Teru's shoulder, murmuring contentedly.]

Naturally, I like feeling like you're mine.

Mentally, emotionally, physically.

[Each word is punctuated with a kiss to his boyfriend's neck, jaw and finally his mouth. This time, the kiss is lingering,
and a little too insistent to be chaste.]

Just as much as I enjoy feeling like I'm yours.

[ Teru closes his eyes with the first kiss, not wanting even the visual input of the bedroom to take away from what Light is doing and saying.

Yours. Yours. Yours.

'Feeling like' seems like a too soft way to put it. There is no likeness, no comparison, of course he's Light's. There's no question about that. His body, his mind, his soul (if such a thing exists)... it all belongs to Light without question. ]

....mhmm....

[ He leans into the final kiss, keeping their lips close even after Light separates. ]

I'm yours. God... my god.

[ He is Light's possession, but Light is his shining force of hope. His deity, his everything. Light's protection belongs to the whole world, but as his number one worshiper, his number one helper.... he's Teru's God above all. That's the only way Teru can quite conceptualize Light being his.

Teru lets himself slowly fall back onto the mattress again, pulling Light down with him gently. ]

[Teru pulls Light down on top of him and though the motion surprises him, he melts into it with another contented noise. His cheeks feel warm again, just as soon as he'dthought that this nonsense had subsided. Yet he can't bring himself to be annoyed by it.]

...yes...

[Light whispers the word like he's daydreaming. It's a simple sentiment, a simple word, but hearing it is both exhilarating and sobering. Lying together in this position is warm and comfortable. Even the feeling of his boyfriend's arousal rubbing against his abdomen feels so familiar that it's no longer the source of panicked questions about what to do about it.

In a way, knowing the same must be true in reverse is reassuring. Light knows he doesn't have to feel embarrased or ashamed that his own arousal is pressed against Teru's leg. They'll take care of each other, love each other and grow even more familiar together. All of this just seems... perfect.]

You're the only one who deserves to be by my side...

[Brushing Teru's arms, Light pulls back just enough to make eye contact.]

The only one who I can trust.

[And then closer to Teru's ear:]

The only one who can help me change everything.

[ Teru has spent a long time convincing that it doesn't matter whether or not people praise him for doing the right thing, because God would always be satisfied and that's the only thing that matters. He's gone through life steeling himself to deal with dismissal and insult, to be proud of himself regardless of all of that. God approved. That was all he needed.

But God's approval had never been tangible words he could physically perceive. God's approval had been a frame of mind, a background certainty, not....

The out-loud admission of Teru's privileged position, of his blessing, his reward, is almost unbearable. The worth Teru always knew he had is being acknowledged, appreciated, elevated even further... It's the full validation of his entire being; past, present and future. In his lovers arms, he enjoys the confirmation that he's always been right and that the only person who matters knows as much. ]

I love you...

[ His hands aimlessly travel all over Light's back, just wanting to touch as much of God's skin as possible. ]

I'll never disappoint you...

[ Then he decides that 'downwards' is probably a good idea for a direction and slips his fingers slightly below Light's waistband. ]

I was made to serve you...

[ He brings one of his hands to the front, into the narrow room between them. The position doesn't give him much space, but he does manage to close his fingers around Light's penis and move ever-so-slightly. ]

Only you....

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject