inordertobelieve

[ Somehow, Light doesn't seem as amused by this as Teru assumed he might be. There is always some part of Light that won't quite take his sincere convictions at eye level and will smile at it instead. Teru doesn't mind anymore, he's stopped minding long ago. For Light to react with notable sentimentality now.... it's unusual but it feels good. His feelings have reached Light.

Teru lifts his hips as prompted, a trivial movement that doesn't feel at all fitting to the thoughts in his head. ]

There's... nothing you need to be flattered about. It's all your own achievement.

[ He sits up a bit as his pants are off, so he can reach out for Light's face once more and stroke it gently. ]

You're amazing.

[Teru raises his hips and Light gently sits back on his knees to tug them all the way down his thighs and calves, until the article of clothing lies abandoned at the foot of his bed. Part of him feels incredibly overdressed at this point, especially considering it's usually his own clothes that are the first to go, but when he looks down at his boyfriend, Light can't resist a smirk in his private pleasure at the change.

Teru shifts though, and Light forgets all about avoiding directly looking at his boyfriend and remembers a split second after
they've locked eyes and his boyfriend's hand is already brushing his cheeks - now even warmer from hearing that sentiment stated so unabashedly.

It's not that he doesn't know these things about himself. Who else would word like "amazing" apply to, if not himself after all? But Light stares at Teru a little too long before managing to find his voice again.]

I could say the same about you.

[He shifts his weight forward, bringing their faces closer. He whispers into Teru's ear:]

We're perfect together.

[ Teru shivers. The idea of skipping a heartbeat is cliched, but Light has proven more often than not that there is truth to it.
His affirmative 'mhm' is barely audible, because in a way he doesn't want to break the spell these simple words of Light have put on him. He's always thought it, of course, that they have earned each other and happiness together.... but when the words come from Light, from God, then they're the ultimate affection and the ultimate validation.

Teru lowers his head to give a lingering kiss to Light's neck. His hands come to rest around Light's back once more, loosely and gently this time. ] ]

[Light breathes out slowly as he angles his head back to give Teru more space. It isn't fair that his skin seems to buzz where his boyfriend's lips are pressed, nor is it fair that his throat has gone dry all over again.

Technically this is all wrong. Technically, it's Teru who ought to be reacting right now and lying still, but for the moment Light is all too easily lulled into quietly enjoying this warmth pooling from his neck down to his spine. He ought to be chastising Teru for breaking their agreement. He ought to be pushing him back down on the bed again. He ought to be...]

...mnn...

[ Light is not discouraging him and that's all the encouragement Teru needs to intensify his kiss with broader lip movements and the occasional flicker of his tongue.

His hands meanwhile slip under Light's shirt, brushing gently over his abdomen. Teru knows what every muscle feels like and he enjoys the familiarity of tracing every part of the body he's touched so often and loves so much.

Before Light, he never thought of the physical as being attractive, but now every part of his boyfriend's physique has become associated with all of his inner values and Teru... ah, he can't help wanting it so much, wanting them to reaffirm their bond like this. It had served them in their time of pain and now that it's over, it's a luxury that's incredibly rewarding. ]

Edited 2017-07-02 02:38 (UTC)

[The heat around his neck intensifies and for all the good that it does, Light presses his legs together a little tighter to try and keep himself from becoming more aroused. Of course, doing so doesn't accomplish that and further betraying the point, as his boyfriend's tongue brushes his neck, Light shivers in a way that feels as though it ought to be tangible, like a fluttering ripple of tension going through his entire body.]

..ahh...

[This would have been deeply embarrassing even a mere six months ago. Before dating Teru, it would have been unfathomable to think he, of all people, could want someone to touch him the way Teru is touching him. He's never liked invasions into his personal space nor has he been interested in physical contact with other people as a general rule, so logically all of this right now ought to be repulsive.

But it fails to be that completely. It ought to be disconcerting that it isn't, but it fails to be that either. In the time they've spent together, enduring together, growing together, the need to filter himself from his boyfriend has faded into nothing. Light has never felt so comfortable or so right sharing everything he has of himself with another person.

And why shouldn't he? While he may not truly believe in cliches like soul mates or red strings of fate, there's a small part of him that's convinced that he will never feel about another person the way he feels about Teru. His heart rate has picked up, and entirely thoughtlessly his hands have moved up to his boyfriend's waist and shoulder as he presses their bodies closer. Teru is broader now, more secure feeling Light's arms than the scrawny boy he was in high school. The change suits him, Light muses dreamily, awash in the feeling of Teru's hands traveling over his torso.]

You're...mm... really keen on distracting me, huh...

[A comment made a little breathlessly, more faintly amused than anything else. Light reaches up to run his fingers through Teru's hair and sweeps it to one side before whispering in his ear again.]

You're incredible.

Edited 2017-07-02 23:51 (UTC)

[ Teru had not been thinking of it as distraction, it is merely that when he can feel the many small but notable ways in which Light is reacting favorably to his attention, he has a hard time stopping himself. Any noise Light lets out may be muted, but the significance is nevertheless not lost on Teru. Light loves what Teru is doing to him and this feels, somehow, like the result of hard work. All those times fumbling around, not knowing what they were doing, clinging to each other in pain... Teru had thought of sex as frivolous for a long time, but now he's reaping fruits of his emotional and physical labor. There may be some worth to that.

And even though he knows he's learned this well, the compliment still sends shivers down his spine. ]

.... ah.

[ He pauses in his movements for a moment, just savoring this feeling, then he grabs the hem of Light's shirt. ]

I still want to feel you more...

[ ...so take this off. ]

[The reprieve gives Light a moment to steady his breath and settle back more squarely on his knees. Slowly, he unwinds his arms from around his boyfriend and draws out the moment with a contemplative look that'might have been more convincing if thee wasn't a mischievous look in his eyes.]

Ah, but that wasn't really the point, was it? But...

[Glancing down at Teru's hands, Light brushes one affectionately with his thumb before pulling his shirt up over his head.]

If you insist.

[Dropping his shirt off haphazardly to the side, not really caring where it ends up, Light leans in to steal a chaste kiss.]

Sooner or later it'd have had to come off....

[ Teru murmurs against Light's lips, wrapping his arms around Light's body again, hands connecting over Light's shoulder-blades. ]

You're making me happiest if I can make you happy as well, you know that.

[ Which is why lying back and just taking whatever Light does to him feels so off. ]

I love being touched by you, but in return...

[ He wants to give something back, to brush his fingers over skin, to press their bodies together so they can feel each others heartbeat... ]

[Light is of split mind in the seconds following Teru's response. Though he puts his arms loosely around Teru's waist, he pulls back a little to get a proper look at his boyfriend's face. ]

You make it sound like it doesn't make me happy to touch you.

[When thinking about all those times he had agonized about what he's doing with his life in becoming intimate with Teru, this ought to be an odd admission to make, but he doesn't feel strange to say something so plainly evident. Light moves his hand up and down Teru's lower back and rests his forehead on Teru's shoulder, murmuring contentedly.]

Naturally, I like feeling like you're mine.

Mentally, emotionally, physically.

[Each word is punctuated with a kiss to his boyfriend's neck, jaw and finally his mouth. This time, the kiss is lingering,
and a little too insistent to be chaste.]

Just as much as I enjoy feeling like I'm yours.

[ Teru closes his eyes with the first kiss, not wanting even the visual input of the bedroom to take away from what Light is doing and saying.

Yours. Yours. Yours.

'Feeling like' seems like a too soft way to put it. There is no likeness, no comparison, of course he's Light's. There's no question about that. His body, his mind, his soul (if such a thing exists)... it all belongs to Light without question. ]

....mhmm....

[ He leans into the final kiss, keeping their lips close even after Light separates. ]

I'm yours. God... my god.

[ He is Light's possession, but Light is his shining force of hope. His deity, his everything. Light's protection belongs to the whole world, but as his number one worshiper, his number one helper.... he's Teru's God above all. That's the only way Teru can quite conceptualize Light being his.

Teru lets himself slowly fall back onto the mattress again, pulling Light down with him gently. ]

[Teru pulls Light down on top of him and though the motion surprises him, he melts into it with another contented noise. His cheeks feel warm again, just as soon as he'dthought that this nonsense had subsided. Yet he can't bring himself to be annoyed by it.]

...yes...

[Light whispers the word like he's daydreaming. It's a simple sentiment, a simple word, but hearing it is both exhilarating and sobering. Lying together in this position is warm and comfortable. Even the feeling of his boyfriend's arousal rubbing against his abdomen feels so familiar that it's no longer the source of panicked questions about what to do about it.

In a way, knowing the same must be true in reverse is reassuring. Light knows he doesn't have to feel embarrased or ashamed that his own arousal is pressed against Teru's leg. They'll take care of each other, love each other and grow even more familiar together. All of this just seems... perfect.]

You're the only one who deserves to be by my side...

[Brushing Teru's arms, Light pulls back just enough to make eye contact.]

The only one who I can trust.

[And then closer to Teru's ear:]

The only one who can help me change everything.

[ Teru has spent a long time convincing that it doesn't matter whether or not people praise him for doing the right thing, because God would always be satisfied and that's the only thing that matters. He's gone through life steeling himself to deal with dismissal and insult, to be proud of himself regardless of all of that. God approved. That was all he needed.

But God's approval had never been tangible words he could physically perceive. God's approval had been a frame of mind, a background certainty, not....

The out-loud admission of Teru's privileged position, of his blessing, his reward, is almost unbearable. The worth Teru always knew he had is being acknowledged, appreciated, elevated even further... It's the full validation of his entire being; past, present and future. In his lovers arms, he enjoys the confirmation that he's always been right and that the only person who matters knows as much. ]

I love you...

[ His hands aimlessly travel all over Light's back, just wanting to touch as much of God's skin as possible. ]

I'll never disappoint you...

[ Then he decides that 'downwards' is probably a good idea for a direction and slips his fingers slightly below Light's waistband. ]

I was made to serve you...

[ He brings one of his hands to the front, into the narrow room between them. The position doesn't give him much space, but he does manage to close his fingers around Light's penis and move ever-so-slightly. ]

Only you....

[Light wasn't sure what he was anticipating in response. Perhaps a contented sound, being held tighter, a soft kiss... something sweet and nonverbal in nature because it seemed they'd reached a point where words were no longer needed. In hindsight that was clearly naive on his part.

The words I love you alone has him opening his mouth to echo it back to his boyfriend in earnest, but the motion of Teru's hands on his back makes him breathe out slowly instead. The rest of it seems to pass by him in stroboscopic frames, wave after wave of feelings that don't process as quickly as the words in his ear.

I'll never disappoint you seems like an invitation to inevitable disappointment, but the thought flashes by with an almost anxious tightening and loosening of his grip on Teru's shoulders. The thought of being let down by Teru is unsettling, uncomfortable and so buriable with the words that comes after. It's the kind of romantic hyperbole that Light would have made fun of had it been stated in any other context, from any other person, really. A cheap exaggeration that ceases to mean anything... and yet he shivers and doesn't dare speak. He can feel his heart beating in his throat, and no amount of swallowing will make it go down. In a way, nothing new has been said at all - he's known for a while now that there's nobody but Teru for him, and he couldn't be more satisfied about it, but hearing it, reaffirming it, owning that moment....

In the end, his body knows how to react before the rest of him does. As Teru begins stroking him, Light's eyes flutter shut and he moans softly into Teru's ear. Such a ting can't factually be true, but he doesn't think he's ever been so hard in his life or so eager to be touched.]

...nngh....Teru.......

[He knows he looks unpresentable right now, but that's alright. It's more than alright. HIs boyfriend is the only person in the world who can see him like this. Because....]

We were made for each other.

[Light leans in, and whispers a word before pressing their lips together again.]

You're irreplaceable.

[ Once upon a time, Teru found it awkward to touch Light intimately. Familiar body parts used to be not at all familiar on someone else, and there was always a degree of hesitation involved in the decision to reach between Light's legs.

That time couldn't be longer ago now. Light is hard under his fingers and he can faintly feel his pulse, tangible proof of the love between them. Teru never thought male genitalia were appealing before he drew this connection. Now every little sign of how much Light wants him has become alluring and brushing his fingers over it affectionately has become a pleasure and a privilege.

Between the hot feeling of Light in his hands and the passionate movement of lips against lips - and then soon tongue against tongue, open-mouthed and breathless - Teru feels like he's melting away. Almost.
It would certainly be easier to feel that way if his own erection wasn't painfully hard as well and nothing was specifically giving him any relief there.

Without breaking the kiss, Teru uses his free hand to try and pull down Light's pajama pants further to give him a better access range. It takes an awkward few tries until he succeeds.

With Light's groin now free from hindering fabric, Teru now has it easy to bring their arousals together in his hand, lazily stroking up and down both of them.

He moans lengthily into the kiss. Shame in his intimate voice is another thing he's long left behind. ]

[When he and Teru are like this it's easy to be drawn into a different frame of mind. A place where complicated thoughts don't have to be so complicated, and the only reason to pursue anything is simply that it feels inviting and sensual. Kisses go from being chaste little avenues of expressing affection to bodily expressions of things like, I want you, I love you, I'm so happy to be with you and the friction from Teru's hand around his erection takes on a life of its own, dictating when Light misses beats, when he grinds their hips together and when his breath hitches and relaxes.

In retrospect, he regrets it completely that he never did finish undressing, but he aids the clumsy attempt to pull his pants down as best he can without breaking apart. On some level, it makes him laugh that Teru isn't doing the sensible thing and pausing to do that, but Light himself is so complicit in it that he only smiles into their kisses, and runs his hand down his boyfriend's chest, pausing to draw gentleAh circles over the nipple with his thumb.

Ah, but then Teru brings their arousals together and between that and the noise his boyfriend makes, Light forgets what he was intending on doing. He never ever anticipated ever feeling so good. about hearing anyone making lewd noises, but in the present, all he can think is how much he wants to hear it again.

And in after thought, how much he wants to be rid of his clothes so that they stop getting in the way by bunching around his thighs. Reluctantly, after one too many instances of I'll break apart now for real, Light draws back, lips tingling. Looking down at his boyfriend's face, he feels compelled to brush it gently.]

... you're right, I should have undressed sooner rather than later. I need to listen to you more.

[ Teru takes a moment to catch his breath, gazing up at Light who looks equally flushed and captivated by their intimacy. He can't help but smile a little. Smiles always come easier to him when he's with Light, but doubly so when hormone rush clouds his mind pleasantly.

Then he registers that he needs to let go of Light in order for him to actually be able to get his pants off and with a last lingering stroke he opens his grip. ]

... it will be nice when there's nothing in the way anymore.

[That last gentle stroke has Light breathing out deeply, and his movements are notably reluctant as he sits back in order to completely undress.]

You don't undress that quickly though.

[Half teasing with a smile, Light drops his pants over the edge of his bed and turns back to face his boyfriend. But rathe than lying back on top and resuming where they'd left off, he reaches out and brushes Teru's arousal, moving his hand gently up and down in a noncommittal rhythm.]

Not that I mind.

[After a moment, however, Light stops moving his hand, and asks more seriously:]

You said you wanted to go all the way...?

[ Teru has nothing to say in his defense here. In the heat of the moment, he usually barely pays any mind to his own state of clothing or arousal. There is Light to focus on, Light to please... it's hard to have a mind for anything else.

He gasps when Light touches him, then hums quietly in appreciation. It's not exactly enough to make him feel significantly, but it's a nice gesture and a pleasant tingling sensation. ]

... yes. I really want you completely right now.

[ Aside from the escapade with the toilet paper, the whole mood of today has been all-consumingly intimate, so Teru feels it's only natural to bring that to conclusion. ]

[That makes deciding how to proceed easier, he supposes. Light idly brushes Teru's thigh as he muses on his own preferences going forward, but no clear answers form in his mind. That does feel odd, even in his hazier state of mind. Not having any concerns, just having complete trust in Teru to know that anything will be just fine and comfortable...

It's strange, but also not strange at all. Trying half heartedly to shake this indecision off a little, which isn't easy when his predominant feeling is wanting to melt back into his boyfriend's arms, Light nods.]

Same.

[Which then, in turn, requires a condom and lube, neither of which are going to propel themselves towards him by willpower alone. Light shifts himself closer to his bedside table to get them. It felt weird keeping things like this in their apartment at first, but by now it's become part of the background noise in their daily lives together.

Items in hand, he moves back between Teru's legs. Today was a good day for both of them, bringing about a change in routine for him, but also a return to familiar things. Perhaps that means a pinch of novelty is in order.

He breathes out and places the condom in Teru's hand.]

So this is for you then.

Edited (dumb typo demanded correction) 2017-07-07 16:27 (UTC)

[ Teru blinks, for a moment quite confused. Somehow he had expected the change of pace would lead to active topping from Light's part not a reversal of roles that had become continuously more cemented lately. Teru is active, Teru is receiving. It used to not always be like that, but somewhere along the line it had turned into an arrangement that satisfies both of their needs. Switching has grown so rare, Teru always finds himself confused when it comes up at first.

But then.. the idea isn't unpleasant at all. It's actually rather... exciting. Today is festive and Teru doesn't even care about the concept of festivities in the mundane sense, of course - but this is worship and reward for worship and that's a context that can make even exceptions look a little beautiful. ]

... ah. Thank you.

[ He sits up a little to be able to see what he's doing when he rips the condom package open delicately and puts it on. ]

[Light laughs a little, inexplicably charmed by the confusion. Although he initially watches his boyfriend put the condom on, eventually the inane fluttering of his own heart gets to a point that he's forced to look away. A while ago, he might have pinned this exact feeling as nervousness, but right now it's more that he feels self conscious about how erotic watching this is.

On some level, it's worth laughing at himself over, but if he started feeling any stranger between wanting his boyfriend inside him and how aroused he is, any further laughter might just come out wrong. He bites his lower lip, flips the cap of the lube open with his thumb and hands Teru the bottle.

And then... he has to regain composure in oder to talk. Partially raising his eyes to look at Teru's lips, he leans in for a kiss and asjs:]

Do you prefer me on my back or...

[He shifts a little to properly straddle Teru's hips.]

..is this what you'd pefer?

[ Teru hadn't known what he wanted until Light demonstrates an option and then his heart is beating in his throat and his erection feels almost painful inside its rubber enclosure.
There isn't much that can still embarrass him in front of Light when it comes to the sexual, but for a moment he can't look his boyfriend in the eyes. ]

... stay like this.

[ He isn't sure himself why that idea makes him feel so excited right now, but maybe it's because it's the perfect compromise between being in proximity to touch Light all over and letting Light spoil him as he said he wanted to.

He'll be able to reach out for every part of his boyfriend, see every movement on top of him and... ah, who would ever have thought he'd want something so trivial so much?

Teru glances over Light's body in front of him, the hard arousal and sweaty skin... He licks his lips nervously and raises the bottle of lube to pour some onto his hand. He never liked the feeling of that specifically, but it's a necessary evil. ]

You look amazing right now.

[The compliment shouldn't surprise him, but it still gets Light to flush a little in knowing exactly how he looks right now. In the back of his mind, he half wonders if this exact feeling of giddy self consciousness is what those who'd crushed on him before had felt when he'd casually dispensed some platitudinous compliment, but he knows that can't possibly be right.... right?

And then he decides he doesn't care. After missing a beat, he makes eye contact, despite feeling warm and flushed, and grins.]
Do I?

[He angles his body forward, resting his hands on Teru's shoulders, fingers laced around his back. He kisses his boyfriend's neck and brushes his tongue up to his ear.]

I could say the same about you.

[And another whisper, softer this time.]

I never knew I could want you so much.

[ Teru shudders and gasps in tune with Light's caress. He's almost tempted to close his eyes and fall back again, but of course that is counterproductive. They're both too hard to wait much longer, and preparations are on the way...

He brings his lubricated fingers to Light's butt, carefully avoiding to get the fluid on skin it's not supposed to go to - icky spread of it everywhere can definitely kill the feeling, Teru thinks. ]

I want you more each time... we were clueless when we met... but now... mhm...

[ His finger's find their destination and gingerly puts one in, moving it in gentle circles for a start. After all the times Light did this for him, he at least feels confident on how to make it pleasant. ]

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