inordertobelieve | clubs 2: and once more with feeling // closed to solsticeanew

[ There's a longer moment of silence after this as Teru gathers himself for a response. The suggestion Light gives right off the bat makes him feel unsure. Is this a subtle hint guiding him into the direction Light wants? That would be ... awkward... But no matter how the truth may be, he couldn't take that hint anyhow. It's just not who he is. ]

No, truth be told, I was never looking for just that.

[ He was excited to receive it, that is for sure, but not just anyone would have done. He could enjoy it with Light because he liked him, because he's not the kind of man who just......

Well, in the end he had 'just', but with genuine feelings of attachment behind it. That counts for something. ]

[At that, Light perks up visibly, looking for a split second as though he can't believe what he's just heard. Relief cascades over him in waves as he looks back up at Mikami's face. There'd been so little reason to doubt, but he'd doubted anyway... for well, reasons that Yasunaga might've called "being sensitive." Perhaps he'd been right about that too, but the thought of simply imagining potential that were never there had been so indescribably unbearable that it'd been easier not to give them the benefit of the doubt at all. His expression brightens immediately.]

It's a similar story here.

[And because in retrospect his own formality is nothing short of ridiculous, he laughs.]

I guess circumstance has been pretty kind to me as well.

[ Relief floods Teru in a wave that threatens to sweep him away. He's not sure how to react, he is just so so so glad to not have made a fool out of himself, to have... his feelings returned, whatever vague shape they may be taking at the moment.

He breathes out in a long gentle sigh and tries to gather himself. Tries in vain. ]

... thank you.

[ It's the only words that really can come out of him right now and he knows they're not the right ones. ]

Eh?

["Thank you" was hardly the response he was expecting there, though the sentiment isn't exactly difficult to reverse engineer. Light wouldn't have said it that way himself, but it does feel good to not feel alone. Better than good, even. It's something novel... something that if dwelled on for too long that might make eye contact hard to maintain.

An actual relationship where feelings are mutual and don't have to be hidden away. Light can barely wrap his mind around the enormity of that kind of luxury. He laughs, rather sheepishly.]

That's my line, isn't it? You know... for if you agree to go out with me.

[ It's Teru who awkwardly drops eye contact when it's pointed out that his reaction was not... quite appropriate, even if not wrong per se. ]

You don't need to think of it as an 'if'...

[ He'd pictured having a boyfriend before, just a vague image of another guy who is kind and righteous and maybe calls him on the phone sometimes. Now he realizes he doesn't even have Light's phone number and neither does Light have his, but they've had fantastic sex twice and only now they're even talking about a relationship and.... Everything seems very backwards. Overwhelmingly backwards. ]

I'd like to, yes.

[ Maybe from now on they can go at a pace that Teru deems more normal, but he doesn't dare being hopeful. ]

So...

[So that's a "yes." Light lets that affirmation sink in, trying not to seem overly thrilled about it but failing to keep himself from smiling widely.]

Then... thank you.

[And maybe that's not the right sentiment, but it sure as hell feels a lot easier to say than an admission of deep seated relief.]

[ Teru's heart is pounding a little too hard in his chest and he also lets loose and allows himself a small, shy smile. ]

I... I should give you my phone number now, right?

[ That's not necessarily the protocol for the first moments of being a couple, Teru knows, but that's because it should have happened before. He likes the idea of being actually able to reach... reach his boyfriend... which is probably what Light Yagami is now. ]

[After a very obviously missed beat.]

...Yeah. That'd be great, actually.

[Light isn't prone to mumbling or tripping over his own thoughts, but hearing this stated so plainly makes it all the more obvious that this should've happened ages ago. He's thought as much before, but leaving it until now just seems so unspeakably silly. Ducking out of eye contact to fish out his phone from his pocket, he flips it open with just the faintest trace of pink in his cheeks.]

[ Seeing Light a little flustered ironically makes Teru ease into the situation more. It feels like they're on a little more equal footing like this. He takes his own phone out and then holds it over to Light, contact list setting opened. ]

Just enter yourself, that might be faster than dictating the number.

[Still not making eye contact just yet, Light nods and hands Teru over his own phone after accepting Teru's.]

You can call me whenever you want. I usually keep my phone on vibrate, after all.

[It's only after he says this that the superfluousness of it really settles in. He's babbling now, and that's just yet another layer of mortifying. Light quickly types in his number and looks up at Teru.]

If you want to, that is.

[... and as that still qualifies as babbling, Light clears his throat and hands the phone back over.]

[ That's... nice. Definitely, genuinely very nice. Teru mistypes his own phone number twice in the nervous air of the moment, but he's a little too excited to feel embarrassed about that. He's not sure Light even noticed his backspace pressing in the end. ]

I might.

[ Might do it? Might want to? Probably more of the latter and less of the former, but close enough. He takes his own phone and returns Light's. ]

And likewise, if I'm not sleeping or in class then I should be available to you...

[ Like an actual... boyfriend. ]

[Light stares his phone screen for just a second too long before saving Teru as a new contact. It feels formalized this way, and however small this affirmation of change truly is, it still makes Light happy to know that Mikami's number is now safely stored in his phone's SIM card.]

Heh... this is really backwards, huh.

[He can't possibly be the only one thinking it, and maybe just saying it will at least make him feel a little freer. To an extent, it does - Light dissolves into an earnest kind of laugh as he brushes the back of his head.]

Mhm.

[ Teru nods and pockets his phone again. ]

I admit that makes it a little difficult for me. I've never actually dated anybody before, so my grasp on the steps is very basic and not... exactly variable.

[ They've already thrown all the steps out of the window and now he's struggling, stumbling to keep up. Talking about that openly feels a bit pathetic, but he can't really stop himself either. He has nothing else to say. ]

Forgive me if I'm awkward. Feel free to guide me.

[There's a pause as Light puts his own phone away. He never drops eye contact while Teru speaks, but his laughter fades and his smile is softer. It hadn't been difficult to guess that Mikami has never dated before, but it does remind him that somehow they are on the same page when it comes to this. If nothing else.

He takes that half-step closer. They're the only ones in the room at the moment, and it doesn't seem likely that anyone from the meeting will be returning to the club room any time soon, but the thought of it does make him visibly hesitate for a beat before he places his hand on Mikami's hip and steals a kiss.]

So like always then.

Edited 2017-12-17 02:02 (UTC)

[ ... ah. Kisses are nice.

Boyfriend kisses are nice. Kisses without any worries about the weird immorality of one night stands and the likes. Teru allows himself to lean forward against Light's body. ]

... I'll be in your care.

[....Oh. That is absolutely not the reply Light was expecting.

He may have had every intention to step back and away from Mikami after that one kiss, but the odd formality of such a reply does strange things. It sounds almost solemn, so Light shouldn't really be laughing, but...]

.... god you're moe.

[And with that comes another kiss, this time a more lingering one.]

[ Despite the bewildering nature of Light's comment, Teru lets himself be distracted by the kiss for a good moment. Kisses still feel like a valuable good that comes in limited quantities and is to be enjoyed as much as possible when the chance arises. Teru knows this feeling is bound to change from now on, but it's not a switch that's so easy to flip.

When he breaks apart, he just shakes his head. ]

I'm not, but I will try and take that as a compliment anyway.

[Light only grins mischievously and moves back.]

Well good, it wasn't meant as an insult.

[But despite all his apparent confidence however, Light knows his heart is beating just a little too quickly for this simple conversation. Speaking a little quieter:]

Truth be told though... you're my first boyfriend.

[ That surprises Teru, even though when he thinks about it for a second longer, he knows it shouldn't. They're both rather young and coming out and finding partners just isn't easy. Maybe that's even the case for charming people like Light. ]

I wouldn't have guessed by how... smooth you are, in lack of a better word. But if this is how it is, we can learn together.

[When hearing it stated that way, Light almost feels the need to interject with a clarification about his past relationship, but as speaking about the bad experiences at the beginning of something new just seems like an invitation for this to fail, he chooses not to say another word about it.]

It sounds like a good journey to take together.

[A grin and then:]

I'm really glad.

... I am as well.

[ Teru attempts a hesitant smile that is basically just a gentle lifting in the corners of his lips. Silence falls between them for a moment. Teru shifts his weight from one foot to another. ]

So... did you have any further plans?

[ Because standing around in the clubroom staring at each other in awe is a respectable activity in and off itself, only it's starting to feel a little awkward. ]

I...

[For all that Light prides himself on quick thinking, in the few seconds he has to work with to formulate an answer to make it appear as though he had thought this part of it out, one doesn't materialize.]

...it felt like bad luck to assume you'd agree and plan beyond that.

[He laughs.]

But I'm free tonight if you are?

... sorry for assuming.

[ Light's doubts about Teru's own intentions truly weren't just for show then. It humanizes him a lot for a person who had increasingly started to seem like a dream that has physically manifested in this world. Teru trails off again for a moment, his words fading into a murmur. This situation isn't rehearsed, it's something that makes his head swim with unnecessary fluffy feelings of anticipation and nervousness.

But he can't let go now. His head snaps back up to meet Light's eyes. ]

I am, too. It would be a shame to just part after we've only just established this.

[ And it would only delay this strange finding of a new pace until their next meeting. How could Teru afford to be distracted for so long? ]

[That makes Light smile, though the instant the feeling of "I'm going on a date with my boyfriend" crystalizes into thought, it's accompanied by self consciousness. He's not the kind of person to be excited about dates and romance - of course not, he's never been and won't start now... and yet here he is, nervous and excited and feeling rather like he's just been spun around in circles just one too many times.

A proper date where you're not second guessing where you stand all the time. A date where you don't have to make sure you're not laughing too hard or standing too close. With so much pressure taken off his shoulders, Light ducks his head slightly and clears his throat to hide the fact that he's still smiling.]

Mm. Is there somewhere specifc that you'd like to go or something specific that you'd like to do?

[ Light's badly concealed thrill at the prospect of going out is contagious. The knowledge that someone he likes finds the prospect of spending time with him exciting is making Teru's heart flutter in ways he's not used to. ]

I'd like to.... [ he doesn't actually know this, huh? Teru pauses a little, clearly deep in thought. ]

No, I don't know.

I'd like it if it weren't too crowded, but anywhere is fine. Even if it was just a walk around campus, I'd be happy right now.

[ And that is something he means very earnestly. Just being together with this security between them is a great treasure. ]

clubs 2: and once more with feeling // closed to solsticeanew

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